Thoughts Are Fleeting
And they’re shit without a story
A few years back, I started writing down every other thought in my head in the hopes that someday I would be able to use one or two of them for something. I came to find there was a problem with this; my every other thought was shit.
But really, what are thoughts written down without context or setup? They’re shit. They don’t mean anything because they don’t stand for anything yet. They’re like road signs in the woods; they don’t lead anywhere. But the more I started writing them down, the more I found myself going back to my notebooks in search of inspiration.
I realized the problem wasn’t that I had road signs that didn’t lead anywhere, it was that I hadn’t yet created the destinations to which the signs were leading.
I started to appreciate all these fragmented ideas I had been recording over the years and began to see them in a different light. I now needed to create a home for each fragment of a thought; for each obscure detail; for each funny exchange of dialogue; and for each situation I dreamed up and managed to record in my notes. My notebooks, along with the notes section on my phone, had turned into a treasure trove of possibilities.
One fragmented thought:
He saw his friend raise a gun. He couldn’t tell where it was going, but he was hoping it had nothing to do with the chips.
“WHO THE FUCK BROUGHT THESE CHIPS?!”
I turned that into a story about a poverty-stricken young lad, who couldn’t afford to bring anything but the off-brand of chips to a party, and he was worried somebody would call him out for it.
In its current state, it is certainly not ready for the world to see, but I’m still glad I recorded the thought. It came to me as I was falling asleep, as they are wont to do, and I knew I had to catch it before it fluttered away.
Thankfully all I had to do was wake my phone up, and record it in my notes app. I didn’t have to turn the lights on, find a pen, and then explain to my fiance why I had just woken her up at 4 in the morning because, though she may find the dialogue funny in her conscious hours, she most certainly wouldn’t care for it in her half-awake state with work only hours away. She has a 9–5, and I’m a night owl who doesn’t succumb to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning.
The Curse of a Blessing
While the notes feature is incredibly useful, it often makes it very hard to fall asleep knowing that my virtual pen and pad are always so easily accessible.
My mind takes off at night, and as soon as the lights go off in my room, it’s off to the races. I start putting myself in crazy situations, thinking about anything under the sun and end up recording at least one or two things before I fall asleep every night. Yes, every night. A blessing and a curse, some might say.
Some nights I’m thankful that I’ve such an imagination to supply me with endless ideas, precarious situations, and funny snippets of dialogue. But other nights, where I just want to go to bed early, I curse this restless mind of mine.
Back when I was a drinking man (something I never knew I’d be able to say) I never found it hard to fall asleep because I would just drink until I passed out. But now that I’m sober, the world gets so loud when everything goes quiet.
In the meantime, I will continue to occupy more of my phone’s memory to trap these thoughts that I am unable to retain in my own memory. I will continue filling journals until I can no longer write, or no longer think, whichever comes first.
Conclusion
Record your thoughts. Though we may not be able to remember as much as we’d like, not all of our ideas are shit, and the ones that stick out even a little bit are worth recording. With enough work, you’ll find you can turn your fragmented memories into masterpieces. Write that down.
