Drinking Games
You won a trip to self-loathing!
Lets play a drinking game
You drink for sixteen years
And stay exactly the same
This way
When you wake up
On the 5,841st day
You can say you won
And the only thing that’s changed
Is your weight
But wait
It gets better
The only skills you have
Are Barely paying the bills you have
Congratulations
You hate yourself!
But don’t fret
You haven’t heard the best yet
You’re 34 years old
You hate your job
But
You’re done looking for a bottle to hold
You’re done being a slave to the game
You’re almost
Just another Rat in the Race
But first
You must choose a path to take
Remember where you’ve been
You’re out of time to waste
Reflection
I wrote this last year on June 22nd, about a year and a half after turning down the road of sobriety. In order for me to get over things that I’ve done to myself, or situations I’ve put myself in, it helps me immensely to write out what I’m thinking.
This poem is the result of opening the tap on my brain and letting the ink drip where the thoughts land. These poems don’t solve everything, but they do deaden the loudness of the critical voice in my head for a bit.
One of the most important things I’m working on in therapy right now is how to forgive myself. I am my own worst enemy, and the more comfortable I can be with who I am, the better friends I become with my enemy.
If I can befriend my enemy, I can bring the war in my head to a dull roar, instead of the overwhelming screams and shouts of battle.
If you connect with this in any way and are looking to improve your situation, I’ve written a few pieces about getting healthy, getting sober, taking care of your mental health, and a myriad of other things.
Give me a follow or reach out to me if the battles in your head get too loud.
j.mike.stanley@gmail.com
